Monthly Archives: October 2011
It’s time to admit that this pregnancy has not been easy on me. Oh, everything is mostly fine (I’ll get to that in a minute) but it just hasn’t been going very well. I felt really sick the first trimester – not throwing up every five seconds sick, but nauseous and exhausted and wanting to sleep constantly. That was followed by the crippling depression that descended in trimester number two. This entire pregnancy has been remarkably similar to the one with Lorelei, but I didn’t have a cranky and not always vocal toddler on top of everything else. I don’t think I was truly prepared for that part.
Naturally, I can’t have a completely run of the mill nine months – Lorelei had a two vessel umbilical cord which meant monthly ultrasounds to check her growth – and this time I have complete placenta previa. Like with the two vessel cord, it is a fairly common condition and for most people it is no big deal. That doesn’t mean that I can’t get a little freaked out when I return from a nice little weekend away to a call from my doctor’s office. And, as a chronic worrier, I can’t help imagine all the things that could go wrong – and there are quite a few. So, I’ve spent the last week trying to get used to the idea that a c-section is a possibility. It wasn’t something I even considered before now.
It isn’t all bad news.
It’s been a few weeks, but I can feel the baby kicking and rolling around. Brian even can feel her, too.
Did I let that slip out?
Yes, we’re having another girl.
Like I said, it hasn’t been that bad. Of course, right now, I’m starving and in desperate need of queso. Desperate. Brian is not yet home, so I guess I will just sit here and long for queso and have no way to get any.
Sunset – orange sky
Trees in silhouette
Lights glittering from lakeside houses
Watching the last of the daylight sink into the water
Dozing baby in the backseat
Cardinals game fading out on the radio
As I hastily shoveled my leftover beans (liberally sprinkled with cheese and doused in ranch) (shut up) into my mouth, I noticed a subtle difference in the apartment. The quiet chattering that usually accompanies the beginning of nap time had been replaced by something a little louder. Something a little more insistent. And then I heard the banging on the door. I looked around, checking that both cats were present and accounted for – somewhat unnecessarily since I had just fed them and had seen them not two minutes earlier – and then I knew. The day I had been dreading had finally arrived.
Lorelei was out of the crib. And she wanted out of her room RIGHT! NOW!
I honestly do not know how she accomplished this feat but I knew that transitioning her to a toddler bed right now was not an option. Yes, right before a big trip is a good time to change sleeping arrangements. Or not. I mean, not a good time to change sleeping arrangements.
I removed everything from the crib. The extra stuffed animals that she didn’t really snuggle with but did occasionally play with during the beginning of her nap were the first to go. I stripped off the crib rail protectors that have been there since she started teething and I never got around to removing. The extra blanket that was draped over one side to keep out a bit of extra daylight was tossed into the growing pile of detritus. Anything that she could possibly use to escape was removed. I turned the crib to face the wall and left her with her one blanket, her demon bear/sound machine and Hedwig (of course).
It worked for naptime. But now, I am sitting here on the couch and every sound she makes seems louder. It seems like she has gotten out again. (I’m pretty sure she hasn’t since I listened at the door a few minutes ago and I could here her rolling around in the crib.) I can’t help but wonder, though. Her usual early bedtime noises are more concerning when there is the possibility that they are because she is making her escape again.
This day has sucked and I really want her to be asleep. In her crib. And I want to stop worrying every time I hear a sound. I have never wanted a video monitor more in my life.
What do I do?