Insomniac (Revisited Again)
About a month ago, the two of us went on a road trip to Iowa which included an overnight stay in Peoria on the way home. It was a real turning point when it came to her sleeping through the night. She spent about 45 minutes screaming – it was late and she was tired – but she only woke up once during the night and it was really easy to put her back to sleep. After we returned home, the good sleeping continued.
I have to admit that I had gotten used to it. I could put her down for the night without having to rock her completely asleep. She would whine for a few minutes, but usually she would put herself to sleep rather quickly. And then she would sleep for eight straight hours. Once more with feeling: EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS! Around four in the morning, she would wake up and realize that she had slept EIGHT! STRAIGHT! HOURS! and was therefore full of pee and very hungry. I could deal with this. Four in the morning is not so bad when you are talking to someone who used to leave for work that early. And joy of joys, she would go back to sleep for another three or four hours. Meaning I got to sleep for another three or four hours.
In the last week, however, she has added a midnight scream fest to our evenings. Look, I’ve spent almost a year without a full night’s sleep so for the most part it is no big deal that she wants to wake up twice (HAHAHAHA! Not really) but for the love of Pete, why now?
I was spoiled. I could go to bed around ten and not have to worry about waking up for six hours. Now, I can’t sleep.
I have been – and probably always will be – an insomniac. What’s keeping me awake these days is the knowledge that I will likely have to wake up as soon as I fall asleep. I don’t mind waking up in the middle of the night (really!) but if I had just fallen asleep? It is torture. I feel like I can’t move and the thought of walking all the way to the nursery is painful. Brian is great, he’s the first to go in at night and make sure she has a dry diaper and sometimes he’ll try to get her to go back to sleep. These days, it doesn’t work. She wants mommy. I know the days of her wanting her mommy (and only her mommy) are probably limited so I’m trying to not get upset by this.
I’m hoping that she is going through a growth spurt so that’s why she’s so hungry. I’m hoping that the midnight screaming might have something to do with the top tooth that looks like is starting to poke through. I’m begging for things to go back to the way they were just a week ago because I am so tired.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to hook up my caffeine IV if I’m ever going to make it through the day.