Do you ever miss the way things were when you first start dating someone? Do you miss discovering new things about your partner every day? Do you miss not knowing what they look like when they’ve woken up hungover or sick?
No matter what anyone says, there comes a point in every relationship when the mystery is completely gone. Brian and I have been together for almost nine years (married almost three) and I think it’s safe to say that we have reached a level of comfort with each other that is scary. Here are a few examples just from the last week, enjoy a close up view of our relationship.
We’re laying together in bed, after the baby is in her crib for the night but before we’re ready to go to sleep. It’s something of a ritual for us to just be there talking nonsense for awhile (I have horrible insomnia). As we were laughing about something probably really stupid, Brian lets out this massive fart
ASIDE: Anyone who says they aren’t comfortable farting in front of their partner is lying! It is not possible to be in a relationship with someone for longer than a few months without needing to pass gas while in their presence and personally, I don’t enjoy the feeling of unreleased gas building up in my digestive system. /END ASIDE
So, Brian farted I said, “What the hell is in your ass? A brass band?” It was a trumpet fart, for sure.
Confession: I actually enjoy being naked. I don’t really like the way I look, but I just don’t like having clothes on all the time. I am not, however, someone who would ever consider going out in public that way. I have no problem with nudists, I just am not an exhibitionist in that way. But, years of not living with parents or roommates – Brian doesn’t count – has left me with a rather difficult habit to break. I’m not saying that whenever I am at home that I take all my clothes off, but it has been known to occur. I think I’ll stop talking about the naked thing now…
So, last night, as I was getting changed for bed – yes, I do wear pajamas on occasion – I was having one of those ick I feel fat and disgusting moments. We had just gotten back from the baseball game where I indulged in a beer and a massive reuben (with bread, so blech) and chips (double blech). And I also hadn’t done laundry, so the only underwear I had clean were the too big granny-panties that I had bought when I was in my third trimester. This whole situation begged the question:
“How can you still want to have sex with me when you see me wearing these panties?”
Yeah, yeah. I know I have a self-confidence problem
Tonight, after Brian had come back from the laundry room – remember no underwear all I had to wear was granny panties and lace thongs (uncomfortable!) – he sat down on the couch. At this point he was just wearing his t-shirt and boxer shirts
“You didn’t go to the laundry room with no pants on, did you?”
“Because I didn’t notice and didn’t even think to check.” Yes, I sometimes think Brian would go out in public without pants on, but only because he’s absent-minded sometimes and might forget.
“Do chicks like naked penises?”
“I’ll keep my pants on.”
And this exchanged transpired right as was sitting down to write; I thought it was fitting.