Do you ever compose mean letters in your head to those people/companies that really tick you off?  Or is that just me?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Dear [Satellite Provider Who’s Name Rhymes with Shmirect MeeMee],

Suck it.

When we first met, it was instant love.  ALL.  THOSE.  CHANNELS!  And you were cheaper than cable – not that I’m calling you cheap – and had the important channels like BBC America and Soap Net (maybe not).  I could record on two (two!) channels and your memory was long and I had more than half an hour to restart a program.

But then we moved.

You got mean.

All I wanted was to cancel service without paying the ridiculous fee.  I couldn’t get a signal at my apartment.  You told me that was okay.  It was supposed to be an amicable break up.  Apparently, you changed your mind.  No signal?  We need to send out another tech before we’ll let you cancel.  Even though he was here approximately ten seconds before he said the same thing as the first guy.

Then you wanted your stuff back.  I understand.  But you gave us no time.  You said send our stuff back or we’ll charge you several hundred dollars and before we could even get to FedEx, you went ahead and took the money out of our bank account.

It still could have been okay.  That is, if you hadn’t decided that instead of just refunding the money electronically, you were going to send us a check.  In six weeks.  I don’t know about you, but several hundred dollars is kind of a lot.  Especially when you have to make it to the end of the month without credit cards.  Wouldn’t have been a problem if it weren’t for the TWO HUNDRED PLUS DOLLARS you practically stole from us.

Was it really worth it to be so mean?  Especially since a call to a supervisor resulted in a refund being issued that day.  Wouldn’t it have just been easier to do that in the first place?

I don’t think there is any chance of us getting back together, no matter how better you are than cable.

Much Love,



About Kirsten

Wife, mother, writer and all around knerd. Maker of cookies, scarves and really big messes.

Posted on June 23, 2010, in Rants. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Dude. That was kind of hot. I wish I could write mean letters that well.

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