I’m (Not Really) So Vain
I don’t take very good care of myself.
It’s not that I don’t care. I do. But, there is always something more important for me to be doing. Or, at least, that’s what I think.
Today, I plucked my eyebrows. For the first time in probably two years and I last got them waxed about a year ago. I’ll let that sink in for a moment. I’m fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to possess eyebrows so pale that they are almost invisible, so my lack of plucking is not very noticeable unless you are right on top of me. But, I had some time this morning and figured I would tackle the forest that was growing on my forehead. OH. EM. GEE. I now remember why it is that I never do them myself. Ow ow ow. Waxing may hurt, but at least it only lasts for a second. This was ten minutes of me wincing in pain.
Of course, after all this, I got to thinking about what I used to do. I used to go to the “spa” at least once a month and splurge on a mani/pedi and a wax. I would go over there after a long shift of death at [redacted] and relax. There is nothing more wonderful than sitting in a massage chair while someone else deals with your nasty, smelly, work in a restaurant, totally fucked up feet. And the sugar scrub. I miss being able to have the time and money for that indulgence.
Today my “pedicure” is noticing that my toe nails have gotten to be more like talons than nails and then clipping them super short so I can go as long as possible before I have to do it again. Gross, I know. And a manicure? Forget about it. If a nail breaks, I pull that one off and go on with my life. Until, that is, three or more nails have broken off and then I trim them. Back in the day, when I played piano and violin, I had to cut my nails every other day (or so it seemed), now I enjoy knowing that is no longer a necessity.
All of this is on the outside. There are certainly other things that I can add to the list of reasons why I don’t take care of myself. 1) I enjoy fast food on a semi-regular basis (although, recently I’ve been better). 2) I get no sleep (not entirely my fault) and 3) I allow myself to get stressed out far too easily.
I’m not really vain. I swear. I enjoy the rare occasion when I look nice, but I’m just as happy to leave the house in sweats and a t-shirt with my hair in a pony tail.
How about you all? Anything that you wish you took better care of?
P.S. Anyone in St Louis want to babysit so I can get a pedicure? It’s sandal season and no one needs to see my gross ass feet.