It is worth it.
Every bad day.
Every day when it feels like I’m never going to get this right. Every day when she just cries and cries and I don’t know why.
Even though her cries make my heart hurt, I know it’s not (usually) my fault.
When she smiles. Or laughs. Or gurgles. Or grabs hold of me.
She is worth it.
And my week started out so well. I was very productive Monday morning. Went out to lunch with the hubby and then did my weekly Target run out in Brentwood. (Why am I driving twenty minutes when there are two Targets closer to my house? Because this one has a real grocery section and everything is cheaper than Schnuck’s) This weeks meals were planned and purchased.
Tuesday morning was okay too. This is probably the most progress I’ve made on my weekly to do list in awhile. But oh dear Lord! Tuesday afternoon sucked the big one. Little peanut would not nap. She was tired. And at first I thought she was going to be real good because it only took about 15 minutes to get her calmed down for her nap; however, the second I had finished up the last few things I wanted to do and then lay down for my nap, she woke up with a vengeance. She was still tired, but no amount of coaxing would convince her to go back to sleep. So she was a whiny crankypants all afternoon and into the early evening.
And then she spent an hour and a half screaming at the top of her lungs when it was time for bed. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong – no fever or anything like that – but she refused to eat and refused to be put down. I know this happens sometimes and you just have to ride it out, but I was in tears thinking I was a horrible mother.
So I’m reminding myself how much this little girl is worth it.
Because she is.