How to Make Friends…
…or, could someone please tell me how to make friends cause I suck at it?
This post has been kicking around in my brain for the last week, which might have something to do with my rather light posting recently. But ever since my mini-breakdown last Monday night – trust me, you don’t want to know the details – this is something that has really been bothering me.
At the risk of sounding all woe-is-me-my-life-sucks-so-much: I am a terrible friend. Well, terrible at keeping friends. I hate to text. I hate to talk on the phone. And I am probably the worst person to send an e-mail to since I always forget to reply. Thank goodness for things like Facebook and Twitter but even with the wonders of modern technology, I still suck at it. It’s a great way to sorta kinda know what people who I used to be much closer with are up to these days but it also makes me feel extremely guilty for not keeping in better touch with everyone. If you don’t live in the same city as me, it is quite possible that we aren’t going to keep in touch and if you do live in the same city, there is still no guarantee. There are friends of mine who I rarely see and when I do it is never planned. For example, I was at that mall and saw that my friend Sarah had started working at [redacted] again and I had no clue.
Or here’s another thing, seeing that a guy I had a crush on in high school (if you’re reading this, Hi Aaron!) is facebook friends with my brother and then I got all weird and self-conscious and fretted for three days about whether or not I should friend him because even though we’re both married with kids I still felt like that awkward fourteen year old and worried that he would deny my friend request. Or that he would think I was some kind of weird stalker loser. I don’t know how to start talking to him again but I would really like to because, hey he has kids too and maybe that would make me feel less totally weird about having a baby.
That’s another thing. I have started to feel increasingly more isolated now that I’ve had Lorelei. Not because I don’t have really great friends who are incredibly eager to help me out in anyway that they can, but I don’t have anyone I’m really close to who is also a mother – since I can’t really count my best friend from elementary school since she lives all the way in England now. I really wish there was someone out there either here or on the interwebs that I could connect with. Who would say, “Yeah, sometimes parenthood sucks but it’s going to get better.” I don’t know how to go about making friends with people on-line. I know there are people out there who do it but I don’t get it. Should I keep commenting on their blogs and twitter and hope that maybe one day they’ll notice me and say, “You seem not loser-y at all. Let’s be friends.” I want that.
Okay, yeah. It’s taken me a whole day to write this and now I feel weird so if you’ve stuck with me through the end of this, suggestions are welcome.