At the Edge

Of my sanity.

I am a strong self-sufficient woman, right? Well, perhaps not. I won’t lie, in the past eight and a half years (holy crap!), I’ve become pretty dependent on Brian. Not in a THE-WORLD-WILL-END-IF-HE’S-NOT-THERE kind of way, but I have gotten used to him being around to pick up the slack. And, let’s be honest, keep me from descending into a pit of depression and self-pity. He’s good at that sort of thing.

Unfortunately, he’s been gone since early Thursday morning. (Yeah, yeah. I know its only been five days, but this is the longest he’s been gone since Lorelei was born.) Thursday itself was not so bad. Fortunately for my flu-like self, baby was generally well-behaved and as inclined to sleep as I was. Friday sucked the big one. But I’ve already mentioned that and last night and this morning have pretty much killed me. I don’t know. Lorelei and I – or so I thought – had reached something of an understanding.

Up by nine, nap around noon, bed by eight-thirty. Oh no. That was just not going to happen.

So I yelled at my two-month old. I feel like a horrible horrible mother. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but she was just frustrating me so much. On top of which, the cats have been driving me crazy and I just really need a break. Five minutes to myself. Thank goodness Brian is home in about six hours because I don’t think I can make it much longer.

About Kirsten

Wife, mother, writer and all around knerd. Maker of cookies, scarves and really big messes.

Posted on January 26, 2010, in Notes and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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